Balls to the Wall...

k, y'all...im as tired as a sleepy dwarf at the volleyball marathon...so, this is gonna be a brief post...

dont cha love those trees in the above pic...look at them closely and youll notice that theyre like palm/pine trees...theyre so whimsical...so alice in wonderland...i should just start callin my blog "trees by joe"...or "a study of trees"...or "bark boy"...anyways, the pic was taken at the stadium where we play our soccer games...

the girls have just started playing games...theyve won one outta two games...the other game ended in a tie...theyre doin okay, but they get weary quickly...and im not sure if their hearts are in it...ya know?...theyre lacking spirit...but we're warriors...and we're gonna destroy our competition...hopefully...

by the way, getting equipment and t-shirts and money from these players has been practically impossible...probably cause most of their families cant afford it...but much of my own money has gone into their playing the game...theyre very grateful, and im always happy to see their smiles while playing the game...(besides, i know many of them wouldnt be better off going home right after school...for a plethora of reasons...soccer keeps them busy and active)...but i dont want to spend more cash on them...ive been really strict with the boys, so they better be more responsible than the girls...

speaking of the boys, here's a pic of them...they havent started playing games yet...not till feb. 20th...theyre actually alotta fun...you guys know how ive never really played sports in my life, right?...well, ive never really experienced that player and coach relationship...i always feel kinda awkward when they call me "coach" and when i tell them to do five push ups (for "not controlling the ball") theyre down on the ground within a second...its weird, man...the other day i told them to "bring it in" after some drills and they all ran up to me and kneeled down before me...like teams do in the sports movies...like i was about to give them a powerfully motivational speech...i began to laugh my head off because i wasnt expecting that at all...i thought theyd just sit or something...isnt that hilarious?!...here i am...a soccer coach with players huddling down in front of me...i never thought this would be me...dont even get me started on my "coach neman" shirt i have to wear...am i suddenly a jock?...this cant be...no!...ive become an athletic supporter!...wait, that sounds bad...(what movie is that from?)...

oh, and listen to some of these names on my boys team...ive told you that all they speak is samoan...which makes it difficult to communicate with them...but its still all good...

-alapati, lemisio, harmesh, apellu, aruni, esau, fidow, tofa...and then there's glorify...what a kick ass name that is...

My Top Five Obsessions of the Week:

5. Ugly Betty = a weekly devil wears prada...hilarious, sweet, zany, and fun to watch... just got into this show cause its available on itunes...and its chick lit. for the television...cept im not a chick...so i suppose everyone could love it...oh, and it just won a golden globe for best comedy, too...

4. Gridiron Gang = yes, this is the most manipulative movie EVER!...but it still got me hook, line, and sinker...all you ladies out there, rent this dramatic, emotional yet macho, tough football movie based off of a true story...the rock (a samoan!) is inspirational in this tear jerker sports flick about los angeles juveniles being changed by their coach...maybe i just can relate to it since im a coach?...or maybe i wish changing somebody's life was this easy?!...cause every time i lecture my kids, heartwrenching music NEVER begins to play in the background...whats up with that?...

3. "Thinking About You" by Norah Jones = this is her first single off her not-yet-released album...you can get it on itunes...it makes me so thirsty for her brand spankin new cd...im salivating over here...

2. YouTube = this is so my saving grace while im here on this isolated, barren island...in other words, it gives me all that juicy, guilty-pleasure-ish, gossippy splendor of american pop culture...i can see george from greys anatomy blame burke for calling him a "faggot" on ellen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1ppZ66sDX0), i can see kramer from seinfeld go on a racist rampage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T7uKvpzVXI), and i can see rosie make fun of chinese people (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuTspbPmV_g) ...yup, im goin to hell...

1. Ping Pong = i bought a ping pong set when i was back at home in wisconsin...and ive been playin it like everyday since coming back to american samoa...im actually gettin pretty good at it, too...not as good as forrest gump, but ive got skills...its especially a blast when playing it drunk...william and i have had our ping pong fests through the night and till the wee hours of the morning...this island isnt the most thrilling place to be...so we take what we can get...and ping pong is hella thrilling...balls to the wall, baby...

judy lou and robbyn (she's so gonna kill me if i have that spelling wrong!)...arent they sexy?...wait, scratch that...theyre my family...

dad...lookin as silly as ever...

quickly, i wanted to tell you guys that many of my kids have been telling me to get my foot massaged...(remember its been injured in a fence accident)...anyways, they recommend that i get it massaged samoan style...because that will make the swelling and pain go away...of course, i asked them what this "massage" consists of...and they told me that a elder will stand on the sprain to make it go away...no, you dont need miracle ear...you heard me correctly...STAND ON IT!...ON THE SPRAIN!...i told them that id pass on that offer...i cant imagine someone standing on my injury right now...but they told me that it actually works...though its painful, the swelling and pain will disappear instantly...i didnt believe them...one of my boys even showed me an injury that he got massaged...it was his knuckle that got hurt and his grand-father stood on it to heal it...the boy showed me his knuckle, and it was hilarious...his knuckle bone was all protruding out grotesquely...i tried to hold my laugh in...im like "no thanks"...

i do wanna say that ive heard some samoan massage is really good...like ones with oil and banana leaves...ive heard those are supposed to be really relaxing and therapeutic...so not all samoan massage deals with fat guys plunking themselves on top of you...so yeah...

j. rod!...go bears!...

ella acts just like her uncle...sees cake, inhales it, feels kinda sinful about it, but still licks her fingers in enjoyment after eating it...the story of my tummy...

cait, heath, and me...hotties of the century...with some buttery nipples...

k...bye...love ya and miss ya...

-JOE

"Now I dream of the soft touch of women, the songs of birds, the smell of soil crumbling between my fingers, and the brilliant green of plants that I diligently nurture. I am looking for land to buy and I will sow it with deer and wild pigs and birds and cottonwoods and sycamores and build a pond and the ducks will come and fish will rise in the early evening light and take insects into their jaws. There will be paths through this forest and you and I will lose ourselves in the soft curves and folds of the ground. We will come to the water's edge and lie on the grass and there will be a small, unobtrusive sign that says, THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, MUCHACHOS, AND WE ARE ALL IN IT."

-from Charles Bowden's Blood Orchid