The Grass is Always Greener...

oh my lord, its hot here...its like in the 90s!...i know that doesnt sound that unbelievably blazing...but you gotta remember, im close to the equater...so im closer to the sun...and it seems crazy, but the sun FEELS closer here...its like heavy, and it beats down on you insufferably...my classroom is like an oven, cookin my students and i...and soccer practice was a real scorcher...and i cant bring myself to move because every move makes me tired and hot and sweaty...im sweatin my balls off here...help!...

snap...did i forget to say hi?...well, hey everybody...sorry, but i had to let that frusteration out...whats the weather like there now that ive left?...i reckon y'all got snow?...anyways, this'll be another short post...i got a lot of complaints about my posts being too long...and people dont have the time or energy to read such lengthy blogs...which i agree...but i always like to make sure ive covered all the bases...ya know?...i wanna report all sides of whatever topic im writing about...otherwise, i just look unintelligent...and amatuerish...as i promised before, this post is gonna deal with my thoughts on going home and returning back here...so, lets do this, jackie!...

by the way, the photo above is of our airport...its pretty ghetto...but in a beautiful way...when we left that night, there were a bunch of my students there...some were leaving to go off island like us and some were there to greet family members that were coming back on island...its always nice to see my students everywhere i go...ill kinda miss that once im back in the states...

another pic of the airport...

okay, as for goin back home over christmas break...i guess the biggest thing i realized was that im really not ready to go back home...i know that might sound sad or upsetting to some people (and i dont mean it as a diss or anything), but i just feel like id be bored if i were back home in wisconsin right now...i just wouldnt feel challenged...sure id feel comfortable and loved and blessed, but i know id be feeling "what if" and "i wish"...id be wanting something else...i love the concept of "the grass is always greener on the other side"...ive mentioned this quote or saying many times in past posts, and i think its one ive sorta been living by since landing on this island...and if you ponder it for a second, its actually a fascinating quote...and one that really sums up my conflict about going home or traveling more...

first of all, ive always said since being on this island that i never want to get into that "grass is always greener" mentality...in other words, i didnt want to regret my decision and desire to go back home or not realize the importance (and blessing) of the experience i was having...but, essentially, that "grass is always greener" mentality is also what brought me to this island...when i was in wisconsin i was feeling like a different place would make me happy or more fulfilled...(it hasnt really made me happier but its definetly fulfilled a dream ive always had)...anyways, sometimes i get that "grass is always greener" mentality here on the island...in fact, today i wished i was back home...and sometimes i wish i was teaching in a different part of the world...but im sure if i did either one of these things (moved back home or taught in africa) id be wishing for something different...how long can this "grass is always greener" mentality go on?...will i be 90 years old and wish i wouldve went to the other side, where the grass was obviously greener?...so, what im asking here is does this mentality of wanting something different make you unappreciative of what you DO have?...does it make you regret your life?...or does this desire to want something different make you dream for something better?...does it make you have hopes and expectations and goals in life?...

while i was back home for vacation i felt even for that short amount of time that i didnt want to be home yet...that i wanted to travel more...but today, in american samoa, i felt like i wouldve liked to have gone home...i should probably feel extremely lucky that ive been able to have this experience...and i shouldnt regret it or feel unappreciative of it or want something different...but im afraid if i feel too much of these things, i may not ever want something different...and i may be stuck in the same place for many, many years...not doing, really, anything that ive wanted...its all very confusing...and i thank you guys for listening to my random tangents of thoughts...my brain is a strange battlefield of emotions...and y'all are fortunate enough to read'em...you should feel special...but let me know what you guys think of this quote...is it one to live by?...or one to be cautious of?...

theres claudia and her wonderfully fashionable boots...now THOSE boots were made for walkin...

for some reason, i love this picture...chad and jake were seriously keeping ping pong score like this...seriously...who does that?...

i guess the other thing i wanted to say about going home deals with a brief conversation shawn, dana, and i had...shawn had mentioned that there were so many things she wanted to do in her lifetime...im sure everyone feels this way...i, for sure, do...i loved being back home because i could be a family man once again...i love being close to my family and friends...i love building strong and loving relationships with everyone back home...fundamentally, i believe this is the most important thing in life...family and friends...so, i want to be there with my friends and family and experience life with them and give them love and support...and i, of course, want to begin a family of my own, as well...i mean, thats probably one of my most sacred goals that i want accomplished...however, i dont want to settle yet...and i also want to see the world...ive been thinking about teaching in africa or maybe even new zealand...since i dont know for sure if im gonna stay in american samoa next year, im starting to look into other adventerous options...most likely i wont be coming back to wisconsin...but im debating on teaching in hawaii or, like i said, africa...i feel like american samoa has prepared me for the world...i feel like i can do anything now...but what about my family and friends?...and is this just another example of my tendancy to think "the grass is always greener on the other side"?...theres just so much this world has to offer...and life is so damn short...i dont know what i want to do with my precious years here on earth...and i wish, gosh darn it, that the grass wasnt greener on the other side...i wish it was brown and dry...then id never want anything else...id never feel regret or ungrateful...id always be happy and fulfilled right where i was in my life...but no...the grass is always greener...and it sucks my white hairy butt...

i love this pic...although my little blowing horn thingy with the shiny streamers is kinda blocking dana...but those dazzling glasses im wearing are so elton john...in a good way...

this week im starting a new weekly list...i already have my Top Five Obsessions...but now im also gonna have my own My Five List...yes, i adore lists...give me a top five or top ten list and im in heaven...so make fun if you want, but its my thing...the following is this week's My Five List...please, leave a message of your list...come on, i know you like lists too...so, let me know of your Five List...this week's list is:

MY FIVE Most Played Songs On My IPod in 2006:

(the songs do not have to be new...just "most played")

5. "Wait (The Whisper Song)" by the Ying Yang Twin = a gloriously vulgar yet subtly sexy hip hop tune...

4. "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera = this is so my new karaoke song...if only i could belt it out so fabulously as christina...

3. "And I Am Telling You" by Jennifer Hudson (from Dreamgirls) = i know ive been promoting this song everywhere on my blog...but its powerfully emotional...just ask sue...she and i saw the movie, and there was an actual applause after this song...yup, people clapping during a movie!...

2. "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol = sure, radio (especially Kiss FM) has ruined this song by playing it way too often...but ever since this was first played on grey's anatomy, ive loved this calm and romantic pop song...

1. "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake = i dont know if its only because i think J.T. is the hottest thing since sliced bread, but this brilliant, futuristic dance song can get me to girate my hips and move my feet like a sexy robot in ways i never thought could...my ipod will probably explode if i play it one more time...

last thing...i wanted to share with you guys a most hilarious clip from sex and the city...ive never really watched (or even liked) this chick show, but ive been hearing about this famous, legendary "im so bored" speech from the show on the internet...and guess what?...the clip is on youtube...ill leave you the link...i hope it makes you laugh as much as it did for me...it makes me wanna shout "whatever happened to fun!"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_BeMQZK4SM

well then, thats it for today...did i stay short?...leave me your thoughts on the grass always being greener on the other side...and leave me your five most played ipod songs...see ya...

-JOE

"A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving."

-Lao Tzu