Yes, Master...
Hey, everybody...Happy Super Bowl Sunday...wow, its been a week since i last wrote on my blog...i feel so irresponsible...but i had a hella busy week...lots and lots of soccer and tons of grading...and this week doesnt look like itll be different...so dont expect much of me this week...ill try to make a promise to post something every other day...but we'll see...anyways, im gonna write about a change i went through this week...and how proud i am for it...it was literally a 180 degree turn around...
the above picture is of our soccer stadium...well, its actually the football stadium, but we use it for soccer games, too...there was actually a fight in the stands on thursday, and i had to break it up and calm everyone down...it was kinda cool...of course the fight was between my tafuna boys and another school (South Pacific Academy)...tsk tsk...i got so mad at them...but then again, i was kinda happy cause we totally won...the other boys were all bloody and shiznit...is that horrible that im glad my boys won the bloody brawl?...i dont think so...its called school spirit ;-)
there's our girl's team in the maroon...the boys havent started yet...i think that season will be a lot more exciting and fun...the girls have lost and are not in the play-offs...but we were all kinda expecting that...they werent the best team...
i hate the above pics...im fat and white...like a whale...and so nerdy...someone do something about that red afro of mine...okay, here's the change i went through this week...first of all, i have to explain my old self...you guys may or may not have known this about me, but im a people pleaser...as oprah would say, i dont like to say "no"...people ask me for things or ask me to do things for them and i almost always say "yes"...i dont know exactly why i do this...i know some of it might be just that i dont like to make people mad or angry with me...maybe i want people to like me...maybe im afraid of conflict (which i am)...or maybe im just a nice guy that likes to do things for people...but either way, i aim to please people...even if it is not in my best interest...even if it leads to an unpleasing life for myself...i say "yes" and please the other person...sometimes i then feel pleased myself...but this week, here in american samoa where it seems people cant do anything for themselves, i began to realize how angry and frusterated id feel after i said "yes"...
the following is just a small list of all the things i was asked to do in one week!...
-i was asked by my assistant coach if she could borrow 60$...yup, sixty dollars!...thats a lot of money...i, the people pleaser, said "yes"...if she "paid me back"...i felt bad for the woman...i wont go into why but she has had a difficult few months...her husband pretty much up and left her and their two kids...so now she's left alone to take care of them...and she's broke...she has paid me back 10$ already...but i still felt kinda upset with myself for agreeing to borrow her this money...i dont think ive ever even borrowed sixty dollars to a family member, let alone a friend...she just better pay me back...or ill be pissed...-this same woman also recently lost her license because of a drunk driving incident...so now im her chauffeur...and everyday during my lunch break she'd come by my classroom and tell me what she needed to get done and how we were going to do it during lunch...i would try to tell her that my lunch break is my only time to get work done (make copies, lesson plan, correct papers, meet with students, practice for speech festival, etc.), but she wouldnt listen and, really, wouldnt care...as oprah once said, "once someone doesnt hear you say 'no', they are trying to control you"...so, id then feel bitter and angry at her and myself all day because i not only didnt complete my responsibilites for the day, but i also became controlled by another person...it made me so irate one day i almost began to cry...but i couldnt bring myself to say "no"...i just couldnt...
-then, on wednesday, another english teacher came by my room to borrow 20$...i said ill think about it and told him to come by on thursday...you see, that was my way of saying "no"...i was expecting he'd forget about it or find someone else to lend him the money...but no...he came by on thursday and wanted the money...i said "okay"...i know, i know...youre probably all screaming at the computer screen right now..."JOE STOP THE INSANITY!"...but this is my nature...and it sucks...and i cant stop pleasing people!...argh!... 
-and lastly, on friday i was again asked for 10$ by my assistant coach...and she wanted me to buy some soccer balls for the team, too...by this time, i had made the change!... 
by the way, i did agree to buy the team soccer balls...but only 50$ worth...i knew id have to donate some money to the team, so i was okay with that...donating money to poor teenagers is a lot different than donating money to irresponsible adults...and from what ive heard, this whole asking someone to do stuff for them is a very samoan thing...which really makes me dislike this aspect of their culture...unlike americans, these people cant do anything for themselves...theyre too lazy and too negligent to get priorities done...im sounding very racist and pig-headed...but i have to say it...its eating away at my soul!...
well, william and i are going to pizza hut to watch the super bowl today...go bears!...im sure its gonna make me a little homesick, but its better than missing out on the pigskin battle...we have to watch it on AFN...armed forces network...and we're gonna miss all the awesome commercials (the best part!) because that network only shows military advertisements... 
alright...i gotta go watch the game...ill talk to you guys later...ill try to post on tuesday...love ya and miss ya...
-then, on wednesday, another english teacher came by my room to borrow 20$...i said ill think about it and told him to come by on thursday...you see, that was my way of saying "no"...i was expecting he'd forget about it or find someone else to lend him the money...but no...he came by on thursday and wanted the money...i said "okay"...i know, i know...youre probably all screaming at the computer screen right now..."JOE STOP THE INSANITY!"...but this is my nature...and it sucks...and i cant stop pleasing people!...argh!...-and you wont believe this one...i was asked by another teacher to find them a essay on the internet that they could use for their course theyre taking at the community college...they wanted to cheat because the papers they were turing in were getting them Fs...i guess theres websites online where professional writers, for a cost, will write you a paper that matches the assignment perfectly...in other words, you can cheat and its as easy as apple pie...i, of course, was mad at the whole notion because i went through my 6 years of college writing MY OWN papers...and sometimes staying up till 3:00 am to get them done...the whole idea of cheating and getting essays on the internet is just pathetic to me...and completely wrong...and then theres this guy who not only wants to cheat but also wants someone else to do the work in cheating...he wanted me to spend time and do this cheating for him...what the fudge?!...i said id look online that night and see what i could find...compromising my beliefs just to be liked...my therapist would have a field day with that one...(f.y.i. i dont have a therapist)...
-and lastly, on friday i was again asked for 10$ by my assistant coach...and she wanted me to buy some soccer balls for the team, too...by this time, i had made the change!...by thursday, i was beginning to say "no" to people...and i was becoming so joyful and proud of myself for it...i eventualy told the teacher who wanted the essay that i couldnt do it...both for time reasons and for belief reasons...i told him id help him with the essays...but he didnt want that...typical lazy samoan...i said "no" to my assistant coach for the 10$...she still owes me 50$...i told her that i had never been asked for so much money in my life and that ive been asked more while ive been on this island than i ever have been back at home in my entire life...she kinda got upset by this and said its "not a samoan thing"...i felt kinda guilty for making an assumption like that but it was only the truth...and i was too blissful from saying "no" to feel too much guilt for saying that...i made that other english teacher pay me back that 20$...and i began to stick to my "no" when my assistant coach asked for rides during lunch...
essentially, what im trying to say here, is that we should all give three cheers to me...from monday to friday, ive changed into a completely new man...i can say "no"!...i dont have to please people...im sure ill still feel awkward and shameful when i do say "no"...especially if the person really needs my help...but ive kinda realized this week that i have the power and the right to say "no" to people...and i even have a right to make them unpleased...its okay...theyll live...and ill live...and if they dont like me afterwards, than theyre probably not the best of friends to have anyways...oprah would be so delighted and satisfied with my change and my new found lease on life...cept now im trying to please oprah...oh, snap!...now im a oprah pleaser...what would my therapist say to that?...
by the way, i did agree to buy the team soccer balls...but only 50$ worth...i knew id have to donate some money to the team, so i was okay with that...donating money to poor teenagers is a lot different than donating money to irresponsible adults...and from what ive heard, this whole asking someone to do stuff for them is a very samoan thing...which really makes me dislike this aspect of their culture...unlike americans, these people cant do anything for themselves...theyre too lazy and too negligent to get priorities done...im sounding very racist and pig-headed...but i have to say it...its eating away at my soul!...
well, william and i are going to pizza hut to watch the super bowl today...go bears!...im sure its gonna make me a little homesick, but its better than missing out on the pigskin battle...we have to watch it on AFN...armed forces network...and we're gonna miss all the awesome commercials (the best part!) because that network only shows military advertisements...also, the television show Top Design started this week on bravo...top chef (best show ever!) is over, and now the makers of that show and project runway have created a show about designers...so far, i hate the host and i despise the judges...but the challenges, like in the above shows, are excellent...requiring the designers to use creativity, ingenuity, and determination to complete the artsy fartsy challenges... check the show out...and we can discuss...especially if youre gay like me and love home decorating...jk... :-)
alright...i gotta go watch the game...ill talk to you guys later...ill try to post on tuesday...love ya and miss ya...-JOE
p.s....the quote below absolutely alters everything i said above about saying "no"...maybe i should be a people pleaser?...flippin egg, im confused...
"I believe that one of the most important things to learn in life is that you can make a difference in your community no matter who you are and where you live. I have seen so many good deeds, people helped, lives improved, because someone cared...Do what you can to show you care about other people, and you will make our world a better place."
"I believe that one of the most important things to learn in life is that you can make a difference in your community no matter who you are and where you live. I have seen so many good deeds, people helped, lives improved, because someone cared...Do what you can to show you care about other people, and you will make our world a better place."
-Rosalynn Carter
posted by Samoa Joe at 4:31 PM
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