Seasons of Ceremony...
Malo...How y'all doin'?...I'm okay...This post will be hecka random...I have a few things to write about...Whether or not they'll be interesting is what y'all will have to decide...Shall we?...The pictures were taken at the Tafuna High School National Honors Society Induction...I mentioned the National Honors Society (NHS) in my last blog entry...Essentially, it's a program for the smart ass students who get 4.0s, never get dententions, and are willing to do community service hours...It's a prestigious, scholarly group of young people, and it's supposed to be a national thing...Although, I don't remember my Eisenhower High School having an NHS chapter...Then again, we didn't wear uniforms...You see, the kids have to wear their NHS blue and yellow every Tuesday...Also, the NHS is highly respected and admired here...As you look at the pictures you'll see how significant this program is in American Samoa...This induction ceremony was to inaugerate brand new members to the NHS...One of those members is Kathleen Grey, Gene's sister...The picture above is of her huggin' and squeezin' me tight...I thought I was gonna pop...Plus, my fat was about to explode...Man, I'm so obese...
My FuamUsos and I waitin' for the bus...
The first topic I'd like to discuss is how much I despise small talk... I think I may have mentioned this before in a previous blog, but I suppose I just wanted to reiterate it...I really get bored with small talk...And I hate participating in it...What is small talk you ask?...To me, small talk is that bland, forced, everyday "conversation" you have with someone...Usually, this small talk happens when you've just met someone or you might have it with an aquaitance...Either way, it's the kind of conversation you can have in your sleep...It's very routine and superficial...When two people are having small talk I don't think either one of them really cares what the other person is saying...They're just being polite...And pretending to care...It's also just same ol', same ol'...Nothing truly interesting or thought-provoking...It's connect the dots...Except with words...Anyways, the reason I brought this concern up is because I have small talk every single day on this island...And I am sick of it!...You see, besides with the very few, I haven't built close relationships with many people...I mean, I can have fascinating, completely honest and open, comfortable discussions with the boys...And with some of the teachers at school...But, for the most part, I'm usually having boring ass, strained, shallow banter with acquaintances and people I've just met and strangers...I'm really startin' to get tired of the same old questions people down here ask me..."Where are you from?"..."How long will you be here?"..."How did you find out about American Samoa?"..."Do you like it here?"...Blah Blah Blah...Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a pompous, stuck-up lil' A-hole...I realize that they're just being polite...And, I bet, most of them are genuine in asking these questions...I'm sure most of them are curious as to why a palagi from Wisconsin has decided to spend two years in the South Pacific...And I do understand that these people who ask me this everyday don't know that a million people before them have asked me the same questions...They don't recognize that I've had this same conversation about a gazllion times...So, all I am expressing is that I am excited to come home and be around people I have known all my life...People who I don't usually have this small talk with...I can't wait to be with friends and family and have relaxed, meaningful, and absorbing chitchat...No more of this skimming the surface, artificial, tediously mind-numbing dialogue...Besides, I'll be at home...I won't be in a foreign, faraway land where peeps are botherin' me with "why are you here?"..."How did you find us?"..."Do you like us?!"...Blah blah blah...
Y'all are lucky I posted that picture above...Lets play a brand new game...It's called "How many chins can you count on Joe?"...So, give me a guess...And you could win a trip to Las Vegas!...
The other problem I'd like to discuss is who I should and shouldn't tell about my sexuality...I know, I know...The whole gay thing is so ten years ago, and it always seems to be controversial when I talk about being gay on this blog...I usually get 7 plus comments...And everyone's feelings are suddenly outta the closet and on this blog...It becomes a big hullabaloo...Also, y'all are probably wondering why I'd be worried about this after being here for two years...Well, let me explain myself...First of all, I think abut 50% of the people I am acquainted with on this island know about my sexuality...I'm not totally open with it...If people ask, then I definetly tell them...But since I'm straight-acting and this island has no straight-acting gay guys (besides the ones on the downlow), most Samoans do not suspect a thing...But some do...And some know about me...I told the boys way back in September of last year...The questions they've asked and the ways they've responded to it have been hilarious and strangely heartwarming...But this is where my concern begins to creep in...There have been a few times where students have asked about me and I have hesitated telling them because I want to protect the boys...I'm usually all about telling people the truth...Especially if they ask me...I don't want to lie...Mostly because I'm not ashamed of who I am...It shouldn't be a secret...It's me...But I'm worried about what the students and the boys' friends might say to them...Will they make fun of Sammy and Gene and Tim?...Will they suspect things that are not true?...I know for a fact that some students at the school have guessed my sexuality, and they have even said stuff to the boys...They ask them "Why are you guys always at Neman's?"..."Is he susuing your poti?"...Of course, the Fuamination knows how to stand up for itself...So, they shut 'em up pretty quickly...And after almost a year of this minor taunting by their peers, the boys obviously don't let it bother them...The boys have even told me that "they don't care what other people say"..."You're our FuamUso", the boys reassure me...And "they're just jealous"...But I know the boys don't tell their fellow classmates about me...It's not like they're proudly stating "YES!...He is gay!...And we still love him!"...I mean, I'm sure the thought of stating that to their classmates would be traumatizing...Nightmarish...So, the boys are still somewhat scared or worried about other kids discovering the truth about Neman...I've told the boys that I am not going to lie to people...And that it's nothing to be ashamed about...So, when students ask me privately, I am honest with them and admit my gayness...(This could be a whole other blog entry...I bet some of you are totally against a teacher telling a student their sexuality...But I am a big advocate for honesty and openness...Being gay should not be swept under the rug...Or hidden in a closet...It should be seen as normal, everyday...It can't be that if we lie to eachother...In addition, I've already helped about two students who were dealing with their sexuality because I was straight-up with them)...Conversely, when students ask me if I'm gay in front of the boys, I start to get nervous...My hands get clammy...And I feel like I'm coming out for the first time...Do I tell them?...Or don't I?...I want to shield the boys from being teased and taunted...I don't want outsiders to even remotely infer what goes on in my house...I hate the fact that people would even think the boys are anything but my brothers...I want to barf just imagining what people might say to the boys...What people might deduce in their small, homophobic brains...When a student or friend asks me this in front of the boys I try to change the subject...Sometimes I even accuse them of asking too personal of questions...I skate around the question like Brian Boytano...I never do this if they ask me independently...And I never do this if it's an adult...I immediately hide and become ashamed of who I am when one of the boys' classmates asks me in front of them...I am protecting the boys, I tell myself...I am shielding them from a harsh, close-minded, and uneducated outside world...Once again, I know the boys don't care and are able to stick up for themselves...But just as I'm dealing with the fact of my sexuality everyday, the boys are, as well...And I don't want them to have the stress of defending me...And our fuam-ship...Hell, people might even start taking that Fuamination thing wrong...I suppose when I have children, this will most likely be a issue me and my partner will have to deal with, too...Do we protect our children by hiding our sexuality?...Should we care what people might suspect?...Or say?...Do I continue to protect the boys from possible teasing?...Or do we all deal with the truth, no matter how difficult it might be?...Am I short-changing the boys?...Am I not realizing the strength of their love and the family we've created?...Can they and everyone else handle the truth?...
My Top Five Obsessions of the Week:5. The Ghost at the Table by Suzanne Berne = Have a brother or sister?...This compelling, emotionally stimulating novel about two sisters and the very different ways they remember their mother's death is a psychologically astute tale of family dysfunction during a Thanksgiving dinner...
4. My Spatula = I've lived on this island for almost two years and I finally bought a spatula...I've been using forks and rice spoons to flip my patties...Now I got an actual spatula!...If only I could figure out how to make perfect pancakes!?...Cause I'm still stuck on stirring the damn "Just Add Water" batter!...
3. Garfield Minus Garfield site = Who knew that taking Garfield out of his own comic strip would be so truly funny...And touching!...Seeing a lonely Jon Arbuckle is like seeing the typical suburban American...Some of the moments are actually quite beautiful...Eh, who likes cats anyway?!...I hate 'em!...
2. James from Survivor: Fans Versus Favorites = Okay, this guy is one delicious hunk of dark chocolate...Sure, he may be playing stupidly (isn't the number one Survivor rule not to hook up with someone?...Especially if it's Parvati?!), but this guy could crack open a coconut for me any day...In fact, he could just stand there in front of me and I'd be happy...Well, with his shirt off, of course...
1. The New Indy Trailer = OMG!...My boyhood hero is back!...Older yet cooler than ever!...Check out the AWESOME preview for this summer's Spielberg sequel Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...Hearing that theme and watching him put on that fedora gives me goosebumps every time...Crack that whip!...I'll be first in line...
There's mah boy Sammy...His last year as a NHS member...Yes, I did get teary eyed...Gotta problem wit dat!?...
LOL...There's Gene...Not a NHS member...But who's counting?...Lord knows I would never have been in NHS when I was in high school...Viva B and C students!...
No, we're not in Iraq or Afghanistan...Those were just some of the JROTC kids who have been brainwashed to be soldiers...Sole, the military is producin' and sendin' 'em off like paper clips here in American Samoa...Poor souls ;-)
Like almost everything in Samoa, the NHS Induction ceremony was rife with tradition and ritual...And this is actually something I'll really miss when I leave American Samoa...Their ceremonies, although long and full of pomp, are sincerely meaningful and symbolically lovely...The metaphors are aplenty during these formal procedures...Samoans love symbolism...At this NHS ceremony, the students light their candles in the flames of Character, Service, Scholarship, and Leadership...They go on to sing songs about "showing the world their candles"...Naturally, the parents in the audience cry a river of salty tears...The mothers are particularly special to watch...Their pride for their sons and daughters is profound, and is something you don't see in the states...I mean, parents in America are definetly proud when their children accomplish something...But in Samoa, it's somehow different...The accomplishments are seen as extraordinary...And the mothers and fathers in Samoa don't take these moments for granted...I was trying to think about why Samoans adore these ceremonies...Why is there so much passion put into these ceremonies marking steps in life?...The events are celebrated beautifully...The graduations are splendidly gorgeous...The weddings are vibrantly divine...The funerals are triumphantly remarkable...Their traditonal and ritualistic ceremonies are blooming with pageantry, spectacle, and celebration...You could say that Samoans are haughty or ostentatious...Or even prideful, conceded, and greedy...But I don't think this is the case...I think these stages in life are celebrated authentically and affectionately because Samoans do not take these moments for granted...They appreciate the circle of life and the preciousness of it...My other big theory is that this is a way for Samoans to mark their lives...In other words, the islands of Samoa do not really have seasons...Unlike Wisconsin or other places in the states, there's no spring, summer, fall and winter here...So, to tally their junctions in life, Samoans use these ceremonial pitstops on their road of life to map out and validate their experiences...I don't know, maybe it sounds crazy...But I know I remember my experiences by using the four seasons as a timeline...Certain events happened in summer...Other memories happened in winter...Some of my most fond experiences seemed to have happened in spring...Samoans do not have seasons to use as a guide for rememberance of their personal history...The days of sun and rain and more sun sorta roll into one big ball of steaming, hot sunny-ness...One long, mundane, year-long, life-long season of summer and more summer...Instead of utilizing seasons as a timeline, they use these ceremonies to remember their experiences and accomplishments...These rites are their seasons...These ritualistic, traditonal observances are their spring, summer, fall, and winters...
Alright...This Sifi Fuam has gotta roll...Leave me a comment...Man, this entry was hella long...So, I better get some nice, fascinating, interactive comments from all ya'll...No fricken small talk!...Speaking of, what do you guys think of small talk?...Am I being too hard on this type of conversation?...Should I be more patient and kind with the people who give me small talk?...How about that situation with the boys?...Should I tell their friends about my sexuality?...Or will that hurt the boys and our relationship?...Should I protect them from possible taunting and gossip?...Or should we all just be honest and suffer the consequences?...Or am I stupid to believe that the boys even care about what others think?...Do they love me enough to defend our friendship and my individuality?...I mean, they've stuck by me since last September when I first told them...What do you think about these Samoan ceremonies?...How are they different than the ones we celebrate in America?...And why?...Oh, and what are some of your obsessions of the week?...Do you think James from Survivor is as hot as I do?...Do you think life without Garfield is deep?...How do you make the perfect pancake?...And how about that hella tight trailer for Indiana Jones 4?...Leave me some alofas!...
Love ya and miss ya...
-JOE
"Island girl, what you wanting with the white man's world?"
-from Elton John's "Island Girl"
posted by Samoa Joe at 1:31 AM
4 Comments:
I think the boys are definitely old enough and love you enough to stand up for themselves. I think it'd be a tough situation if they were in elementary school and could be picked on or beat up or whatever other unfortunate situation could happen. But I think that you're being to overprotective in this case. However you know they will get some remarks and people are dumb, but them boys can handle um.
I think the most annoying part of this blog is that you didn't know about / thought that eisenhower didn't have an NHS. Well my dear, they certainly did. Full of huge ceremonies and speaches and scholorships. And it was super hard to end up in it, and of course I didn't make it, but I know many others that were. And I do believe those were the people that graduated with different colors on at our graduation...So its kind of ironic that you didn't even notice it occuring when you were in high school, and yet now you have a huge love for the group ;)
I miss you boo.
gosh...too many comments to leave...
1) James is mouth watering hot! Poor Chad everytime we watch Survivor I am like gawking at the amazingness of his body- it is like an amazing sculpture of perfect goodness...anyhoo
2)We all know how big the island is...now that there is word that you are gay- you covering up for it to the fuams peers only seems weird- comeout, comeout, the boys can hold there own. I think it will be harder on you than them- I think even the boys talk too much smack to you about the gay thing-
3)hate small talk- people probably often think I am rude because i avoid situations where i might have to make it. We know who the small talk king is in my house- and it ain't me.
4) Ghost at the Table book...lame- sure I had some connections with the sisterly relationship and differences in perception but overall dud for me...maybe cuz Kite Runner was so good.
5)Spatula- try addig a little bit of oil and an egg (even if the box does not say so) your flapjacks might turn out better
6)Come home and I promise there will be no small talk- only deep Survivor talk, book talk, a couple of glasses of wine talk etc.
Love ya!
Again at the risk of raising anyones hackles...I just don't get Am Samoa...they have numerous BOYS running around in makeup and dresses and no one raises an eyebrow but
they don't feel comfortable about your situation is it cause you don't wear makeup and a fushia blouse?? Now don't everyone jump on me at once...
A couple more things...
One of my top obsessions is Jason on American Idol...love em, love em, love em.
Also, I must admit that was a poor chin tilt in that pic...but it is a darn cute picture anyway ;)
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