R U Larla?...

Folks, it's that time again...Time for everybody's favorite show...The show that asks "do you want MY life?"...Yup!...It's time for..."Who's Jealous Now?!"...Today's challenge deals with my recent mini-vacation to Sadie's by the Sea, a local island hotel...As you can see in the evidence above, I was in a sort of heaven while there...Me with my Diet Pepsi, my book, the beautiful beach and warm breeze was amazingly wonderful...I was in a tropical paradise...A peaceful, soothing, seaside dream...Made real, of course...So, I now must ask everybody the million dollar question...If you answer it correctly, you may be the winner of "Who's Jealous Now?!"...Lets get down to it...I ask you..."Who's Jealous Now?!"...Come on, be honest...Especially you Wisconsin cats...Do you just wanna strangle me and my South Pacific mini-vacation?...Do you wanna rub my face in freezing ice snow?...R U Larla?...(That's a popular phrase among fafafines...It means "Are you jealous?")...Be careful...It's worth a million dollars and the title of winning America's favorite gameshow..."Who's Jealous Now?!"...




Anyways, sup everybody?...I didn't mean to sound like a jerk...But I do feel damn lucky that I got to go on such a nice mini-vacation...You see, me and the boys went to the hotel last weekend because it was only $49.95 a night...It was a Valentine's Day Special...Usually the rooms cost about $120 a night...So, it was an awesome deal...I told the Fuamination that we couldn't pass this special by...We actually stayed two nights and it was absolutely fantastic...We had air conditioning, a hot shower, and cable...Oh, and did I mention this gorgeous, secluded, calm blue beach?...This blog has pictures of our Fuamination Vacation...And I'll probably further describe how lovely the weekend was...You know, just to rub in it your sad, cold lil' faces some more ;-)

By the way, go back and enjoy that first image that opens this blog entry...I swear, it was my heaven...I ordered a delicious burger and a Diet Pepsi and read my book and enjoyed the view as the boys played video games in the room...I literally sat there and didn't take a second for granted...I felt incredibly lucky to be there...And although I am constantly missing the Wisconsin snow and cool weather, I did not want to wish to be anywhere else...This moment with my Diet Pepsi was perfect...And the grass wasn't greener on any other side...Except for my side...Well, I suppose the grass could've been even greener on my side...A Diet COKE would've made it a tad bit greener...

We rented these Kayaks...And it was a blast, man...The boys loved 'em...They got to boat around the entire Pago Pago harbor...None of the boys had ever been able to do that before...In fact, none of the boys had ever stayed at Sadie's before...Sadie's by the Sea is a somewhat famous hotel on the island, which I'll explain in a moment...As I was saying, these Kayaks were a lot of fun...Once again, I felt blessed to be paddling around in the ocean with the fuams...Sure, I could be sledding or ice skating in Wisconsin, but at least I don't get frost bite here in American Samoa...The ocean was warm and wonderful...And the mountains surrounding us were majestic and mesmerizing as always...

Sadie's by the Sea actually has a rich history here in American Samoa...But since I'm not a History buff, I'm not going to go into details...Essentially, Sadie Thompson is a legendary, mysterious woman who arrived in Pago Pago in 1916...Her story, made famous by Sumerset Maugham in his short story "Rain", is highly debated...Was she a real woman?...Or a figment of Sumerset's imagination?...Well, they say Sadie Thompson ran a prostitution house called The Sadie Thompson Inn in Pago Pago...This establishment is still open...'Cept there's no hookers now...It's just a fancy restaurant...Supposedly, she fell in and outta love with a missionary who wanted her to leave Samoa for a normal life in the U.S....Or something like that...There's been movies and plays and songs written about this woman...She's kinda magical here...And, heck, she even has a hotel named after her...Here's some links if you wanna do some research...

http://sadieshotels.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadie_Thompson

Wanna hear a soon-to-be #1 smash?...It's the first Fuamination Production...It's a tight jam called "Faipapa'u"...Notice the guy who is repeating the title of the song over and over again...That's me...You can also hear Sammy, Toetu, and John...Sole, we rock dis rock!...Oh, and there's a clip of Tim's Birthday, too...Another Fuamination Birthday has come and passed...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnvNELf-tlA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nlaM00CFE0

My Top Five Obsession of the Week:

5. Survivor: Fans Vs Favorites = I'm not quite sure if the premise is promising...I mean, I kinda like seeing new players and their reactions to the harsh island conditions...But, on the other hand, I want Cirie to take it all the way home this time...You go girl!...

4. Alicia Keys = If you don't love the song "No One" you must be a communist!...Her "Like You'll Never See Me Again" is a future hit, too...And "Lesson Learned" with John Mayer is smooth, jazzy, and gorgeous...

3. 3:10 to Yuma = A bloody, intense Western now on video...Can a father hold on to his values during a time of violence, chaos, and evil?...Well, you'll have to find out...This cowboy's journey is one helluva ride...

2. America's Next Top Model = It's back!...Hallelujah!...And I pray to the Lord that Tyra has another explosion like this again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29SuuEKztPc&feature=related

1. Lifetime Movies = While the boys and I were chillaxin' in our air conditioned hotel room, we sat and watched a marathon of Lifetime Movies...Yes, a bunch of guys watched a bunch of made-for-women, chick flick dramas...We watched "Too Young to be a Mom" (about a teenage couple who find themselves knocked up!) and "Girl Positive" (about a teenage girl who discovers she has HIV!)...And we couldn't take our eyes off of it...Forget ESPN...These films were riveting!...

I'm teaching a Drama course right now at Tafuna High School...It's been a fun class to teach...We pretty much do different acting and performance activities everyday...Well, here are a couple of clips from these "Whose Line Is It Anyway"-like games...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JPzbG4iExY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXzfk4NLZic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODREZ1-oa04

The Seniors are beginning to practice their songs for their graduation ceremony at the end of May...I've already gotten misty eyed during these practices, listening to my students sing...Even though I'm hella bored with the island and I'm thrilled to come home, I am still gonna be devastated when I leave this place...And saying "goodbye" to these kids who I have taught and learned from for the past two years will be bittersweet...Although, their graduation will be nothing but a celebration...The following is a clip of their inspired, powerful voices...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJVQzPHebIg

Okay...I gotta go...Sorry for the boring post...I didn't really have anything to discuss...I think I have officially run dry on ideas...I've been on this island for too long...And judging from the comments on my last blog entry, I'm guessin' y'all are runnin' low on ideas, too...So, are you guys jealous?...Do you hate me?...Do you wish you were me?...Or are you happy in that miserable ice and depressing snow?!...(I know...I'm evil...But you'll forgive!)...And do you have any obsessions this week?...Are you diggin' Survivor?...And what's your favorite Lifetime Movie?...Give us the title...The titles are the best part!...

Love ya and miss ya...

-JOE

"My, my, doesn't the world look fresh and clean today. Look at that sky, as if not a thing was going on under it."

-from 1953's Miss Sadie Thompson

High School, Eternally...

Hola, mi amigos...How y'all doin'?...Well, this should be a short blog...And, to be honest, probably a boring one...I don't really have much to write about...It's kinda blah on the island right now...Nothing much goin' on...So, let us begin...

Today's pictures, like the blog entry, are a tad mundane...They're of a class activity I did with my World Literature students where they had to create board games and then play eachother's...We read John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress, and we learned about allegorical journeys...Hence, the boardgames...The lesson was a success, although I'd change some things if I were to do it next year...

One issue I wanted to discuss today deals with high school Seniors on island...You see, high school is everything on this island...I think I may have mentioned this in a previous blog entry, but it's like high school is the prime of a Samoan's life...It's the peak, the zenith, the pinnacle...The best time of a Samoan's life is high school...And it almost seems like the island is owned by teenagers...It's almost like the island revolves around them...It is, I suppose, difficult to explain...A Samoan's life leads up to high school, the heydey, and then it ends...And it's all downhill from there...Some Samoans go off to college or to a university off-island...But most Samoans stay...And most Samoans not only become adults after high school but they also become the main caretakers of a family and home...Unlike in the states where most kids graduate high school and then go to college where they're taken care of by their parents for another four years and, essentially, live selfish lives...Samoan teenagers, after their high school graduation, must immediately get jobs and begin providing for the family...They must nurse their old folks and watch over their small sisters, brothers, and cousins...They must tend to the house and be responsible for the chores...Many times they take over the plantation...Many times they must get jobs at the tuna factories to make ends meet...And many times the stress of supporting their families leads to alcoholism or drug use...One day they're teenagers...And the next day they are beyond adults...They're suddenly expected to be superheroes and take charge of the household and family duties...They are now in charge of their entire family...And that's why high school is considered the best part of their lives...It's right before the shit hits the fan...And all Samoans are told to enjoy their high school experience...Live it to the fullest...And don't take it for granted...Because life sucks when it ends...

Anywho, the reason I wanted to discuss this issue is because I recently met with two of my students who expressed concern over their futures...I am teaching a College Prep course for Seniors and a couple of weeks ago we had mock college interviews....They informed me of the universities they were interested in applying to, and I acted as representatives from those schools and grilled them with questions...The students even had to wear nice, professional outfits...And they had to be prepared to answer questions like "why should we accept you?"..."How do you plan to pay for our tuition?"..."How will you organize your home, school, and work responsibilities?"..."What kind of student were you in high school?"...Well, you get the picture...Needless to say, some of my students had a very difficult time answering these questions...Not because they were ill-prepared...Or even because they were nervous...I think they had trouble answering these questions because they were genuinely scared of their futures...It made the graduation of high school real to them...It became a reality...And some of my Senior students were shocked and dismayed by this realization of their futures and their upcoming, much dreaded adulthood...Their peak had arrived...I actually had one student tear up during the interview, his eyes welling up with tears...One of them full out cried during hers...Surprisingly, these two students had two very different situations...Here are their stories...

First, one of my male students became visibly upset after he told me that his dream was to go to Seattle University and become a dentist...But he said that wouldn't be happening because he needs to stay on island to take care of the family...He needs to aid his sick grandma and grandpa, and his mom needs help with the house and children...He now has to go to ASCC (American Samoa Community College), a two year school and one that's considered a "dead end" for Samoans on island...I mean, it's an excellent school...And it's a wonderful option and opportunity for Samoans...Especially those who can't afford an off-island education...But many students who attend ASCC don't finish...And some do finish but don't get good jobs afterwards...Do not get me wrong, I think ASCC is a great place for some Samoans...But then there's stories like this kid...A story about a Samoan boy who could have his dreams come true...Who could experience the world and become a successful, prosperous man...But his own culture and the island has decided differently for him...Er, should I say his family has determined that for him...Now he'll be going to ASCC and getting an Associates in Business...And he'll probably take over his family's small shop that sells rice and milk...And while he's doing that he'll be taking care of the family...And working his butt off doin' chores...I tried to inspire him to express his feelings to his mom and grandparents...All he said was, "Neman, these are Samoan parents...I can't talk to them like that...They'll sasa me...They need me...And I need to make this sacrifice...They've taken care of me...Now it's my turn"...Of course I was pleasantly astonished to hear this answer...I mean, no kid in the states would ever even utter those words...This young man is one helluva noble and selfless human...I love Samoans for the amazing selflessness and devotion to family...Their thankfullness to elders and parents his beautiful, and Americans are completely missing that...But I still find myself upset with this student's story...His dream is to leave the island for a Seattle University and become a dentist...And the ingrained, culturally motivated responsibility to take care of the family is holding him back...

Second, the other student let the tears flow because of a totally opposite reason...You see, she was scared to graduate high school because she didn't want to leave her family...She actually wants to stay on the island...Her family does need her help but they need her to go to a university so that she can get a good paycheck and send them the money...They also need her to sign up for the army so they can afford that university tuition that will give them that wealthy daughter...So, in June, she'll be shipped off to sacrifice her dreams in order to take care of the family...She was crying not because she's scared of going into the military...She was heartbroken because she wants to stay on the island...She actually wants to just go to ASCC and stay with her family...And maybe start her own soon, too...She said, "I love Samoa...This is my home...Besides, I'm comfortable here...Safe...I know what to expect...I'm scared of the future...I just want to stay home and stay with my family"...I guess there's two things going on with her story...For one thing, as I said before, she is sacrificing her dreams of staying home because her family is forcing her to leave and hopefully support them financially in the future...The second thing is that this island has a tendency to make people feel safe and comfortable...Even I myself have these thoughts sometimes...The island is a secure, peaceful, quiet place...A secluded haven where everyone knows everybody...And everyone knows what to expect...It's a routine place...It's a familiar place...It's a place of protection from the outside world...A quaint, lovely place...And hella relaxed...In other words, leaving this island of Tutuila can be frightening because the rest of the world is so damn daunting...The outside world is fast and stressful...Violent and busy and foreign...And unsympathetic...And no one knows your name...And you don't know what to expect...I even have emotions like this student...Adjusting to a new environment after living on this island for so long will be overwhelming...And intimidating...I told her "everything will be alright...You'll take it day by day and you'll get used to the new life...It'll be an exciting adventure"...But I don't think that's what she wanted to hear...She didn't want an adventure...She wanted home...She wanted American Samoa...

Okay...A little bit longer than I thought...What do y'all think?...How is graduating high school different in the states?...Is the Samoan culture destroying dreams?...Are Samoan parents selfish?...Are young Samoans having their dreams dashed for their families?...Or are Samoan kids beautifully selfless and devoted?...And should peeps, including myself, be frightened of leaving this island for the real world?...And what kind of advice should I give my students?...Should I tell them to defy their parents and live their own lives?...Or should I tell them to obey?...Or should I tell them I think their sacrifices are incredibly admirable?...And is college such an important thing?...Or am I way too college obsessed?...Leave me your opinion!...

Love ya and miss ya...

-JOE

"Just me and you,

Not so many things we got to do,

Or places we got to be,

We'll sit beneath the mango tree, now."

-from Jack Johnson's "Better Together"

Father Neman Knows Best...

Sup, y'all...Are you ready for another blog entry?...Eh, me neither...But lets begin anyways and get this damn thing over with ;-)

So, the pictures on today's blog entry were taken around Christmas time...In fact, the image above was snapped on Christmas morning...I'll talk about that in a bit...I'll also be asking you guys for some advice on parenting...And maybe we'll have time for a Top Five I'd like y'all to participate in...So much happening, and so little blog space...

It's that time again!...Everybody's favorite gameshow!..."How Many Fafafines?"...Guess the amount of fafafines in the image above and I'll give you a shoutout on the next entry...Who are the he-shes?...Be careful...It's tricky...

Oh, and speaking of gameshows...Watch this awkward yet amusing clip of Bob Barker hatin' on Samoans...I always did think Bob Barker was Satan...And he's a racist, too!...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oiwvu90v4RE&NR=1

These photos are of the Tafuna High School staff Christmas party...It started out as a pretty boring night with some crappy food...But then it got interesting...More on that in a moment...

This is when I warn all of you squeamish cats out there that the following information may be difficult to read...In other words, skip this section if you do not wanna hear about my sex life...My sad, somewhat interesting sex life...

The picture above and the following pair were taken at Sadie's...It's a resort on the beach in Pago Pago...They were taken the morning after...You see, Annie Anderson, my "Samoan mom" (I call her that because she's a sweet old woman who has been extremely kind to me), brought her nephew to the staff party...He was a thirty-something Samoan living in Seattle who happened to be gay...Well, needless to say, we hit it off and he had a room...I'll spare y'all on the details...After a morning quickie, I snuck out while he grabbed a bite to eat at the continental breakfast...I took his pack of Eclipse bubble gum in my grand exit...I've become a rascally rabbit since being on this island...I mean, how classy is that?...Hit 'n' run AND steal their bubble gum!...What has become of me!?...Hell, at least I got a warm shower and an AC night's sleep...Oh, and a minty fresh breath...

There's the beautiful nativity scene my mama bought be last year...My very first nativity scene...It's my most cherished Christmas decoration...I don't even believe in the Bible yet the story of Joseph and Mary and Jesus always did captivate me...Besides, why would I not like a nativity scene that can substitute for action figures?...It's like Barbie dolls or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...Cept with the humble ninjas of Bethlehem...

Okay, so this was a funny moment...I made the Fuamination participate in the Neman family tradition of singing Happy Birthday to Jesus on Christmas morning before gift opening...At first I thought the boys were gonna kill me...They seemed embarrased to belt out a tune to a small procelain baby Jesus...But they actually did it...I don't know if it's because they truly wanted to celebrate the birth of our savior...Or if it's just because I threatened them with "no presents if they didn't sing"...

I am officially the nerdiest fuam alive...I couldn't really afford nice gifts for all the boys on Christmas...I mean, I had Hawaii to pay for among other things...However, I did treat each of them to a stocking...A stocking filled with nerdy items...Like any parent or English teacher, I thought giving the boys things they actually needed would be smarter than frivilous presents like clothes and video games...I stuffed their stockings with grooming supplies like toothbrushes and toothpaste and deorderant and body spray...I also stuffed some paper and pens and fruits and minty gum in them, too...The boys, I think, actually dug the geeky treats...They knew as well that it was junk they actually needed...

Gene got me a six pack of Diet Coke...Man, he knows me well...The best Christmas gift EVER!...By the way, notice the non-star atop our tannenbaum...Only the Fuamusos would have Superman soaring above their Christmas pine...

Alright, now I need some advice...Let me just first say that these Senior fuams I have on my hands bring me a ton of stress...I mean, Senior year of high school sucks...I think it does for everybody...And I can especially observe Sammy and Gene are sick of school and friends and the island...They're antsy and anxious...They're wannabe men in teenage putio bodies...Anyways, they've been bringin' me stress because this anxiousness for adulthood has recently been turning into irresponsible behavior...The main gist of the problem I am having is whether or not I should be a parent figure or friend figure to them...

For example, Gene has had a girlfriend for the past five months or so...They have, of course, been having sex...And I, being Gene's palagi friend/role-model/daddy-fuam, have talked to Gene many, many times about being safe...I've even given him many of my rubbers...(Is that good parenting?...Discuss)...A few weeks ago he told me that he has had sex several times without a condom...And then he said his girlfriend "missed her period"...He told me this while I was peacefully eating dinner...I nearly spit out my food and screamed at the child..."What the 'beep' do you think you're doing?!"...I was infuriated...One reason I was so angry was that I cover for the kid...You see, his mom doesn't know he goes to his boo's crib almost every night...In fact, I don't even think she knows he has a lady friend...Let alone a sex buddy...If anything were to happen to him and his girlfriend, like say oh have a baby, I'd feel hella liable...I'd suffer forever with guilt...Here I was knowing he was having unprotected sex and I didn't do anything about it...Besides yell at him...He kept responding to me by saying the classic "but it feels better without one"...And "I pull out!"...I told him, with careful honesty, that "of course it feels better...I did the same thing when I was your age...But you gotta be cautious...You do not want to have a baby right now!"...(Note: Gene's girlfriend did end up having her period...Thank the Almighty Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Lord Mary Mother of God!)...On top of this stress Gene gives me, Sammy got drunk on a school night last week!...This is by far the first time Sammy has ever gotten drunk...He had such a bad hangover the next day he didn't go to school...He didn't tell anybody this except for me...Remember, it's only him and his lil' bro at their house...He also said "I'm never gonna drink like that again"...I scolded him, but as with Gene, I couldn't get too enraged because I did the same things they did when I was in high school...Really, I began doing these things much earlier...And I did much worse things...I smoked from purple skull bongs in the morning at parks before school!...So, how can I get pissed off with this relatively harmless teenage rebelliousness...Nevetheless, I love these guys...I am constantly worried about them...I am consistently calling them...And grilling them with questions when they get home..."Where were you?"..."What were you doing?"...The difficult part is that I am neither their parent or their friend...I'm kinda in between these two...I'm more than just a friend because I truly believe I take care of them...But I wouldn't consider myself their father because they have their own deceased ones...And this is where the problem lies...

I'm afraid that if I become angry and lecture and scold them too much (which I feel I have been doing a lot of lately) that they will stop telling me the truth about their lives...The other day I guess the boys got into a minor fight with some rival Samoana boys...They neglected to tell me...I'm sure it's because they knew I would've blown up at them...I would've shamed them with my pointer finger and said "fighting is stupid, you guys!"...They knew this, and didn't tell me...Since I'm getting pretty good with my Samoan I understood they were talking about it one night and yelled at them for it...I want to remain that friend that they can tell everything to...I know they'd never tell their parents these things...The boys tell me all the time palagi parents are different..."Palagis talk to their kids and have compassion for their misbehaviors"..."Samoan parents just beat the crap outta them"...I want to be that person they come and discuss their experiences and thoughts with...But I love them way too much to just watch them behave irresponsibly...So, what do I do?...Do I continue to nag at them and scold them when they get into trouble?...Or should I just listen to them talk and try to give them advice?...Is there a healthy medium?...All I know is that my two Samoan bradas are alright...They're maken' some mistakes and they're dyin' to get outta high school...I can relate to that...And I want them to know that I can...But that doesn't mean I won't discipline them...

My Top Five Books of All Time:

5. The Giver by Lois Lowry = An absolutely beautiful book about living life to the emotionally fullest...

4. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver = A heartbreaking, adventerous story about a family of missionaries in Africa...

3. I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb = An epic Oprah's Book Club selection about twin brothers and their powerful, life-long bond...

2. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer = Wanna know why I left home and came to a random island in the South Pacific?...Read this true life story...

1. Lives of the Monster Dogs by Kirsten Bakis = I have been waiting patiently for about 7 years now for this author to come out with her second novel...This, her first one, is a fascinating, dazzlingly creative sci-fi novel about dogs who build a castle in a futuristic New York City...It's not only about dogs with gloves...It's about being human and the incredible loneliness of it...

So, as much as I was homesick this past Christmas, I feel it was one of the most special of my life...I will never experience a Christmas morning like I did with the Fuamination again...I missed my family...But it was a wonderful, exceptionally unique Christmas 2007...I'll always cherish it...

What do you guys think?...How many fafafines were there?...Do you think Bob Barker is a racist devil?...What'd ya think of my staff Christmas party sex story?...Was it totally bitchy of me to runaway and steal his bubble gum?...And how do you feel I should treat these boys?...Should I worry so much?...Should I be a friend?...Or a parent?...And what are some of your favorite books of all time?...Give me some suggestions because I need something to read!...Oh, and what'd you think of the Fuamination Christmas?...I betcha you wish you coulda been there!?...I'm sure glad I was...

Love ya and miss ya...

-JOE

"Will there be any honies there? I'm sick of sleeping with girls as big as Savai'i."

-from 2006's Samoan Wedding