Epilogue: My New Adventure

Well, hello everybody!...I'm back!...I am so, so, so sorry for taking forever with this epilogue (final blog entry)...I have not only been hella busy, I also wanted to wait until I had pictures of my new life here in Wisconsin...And now that I have got everything settled, I can actually tell y'all about how my stay in the states is goin' so far...Anyways, wow...It's kinda weird sittin' here and writtin' this blog entry...I mean, it seems like years ago I was doing this on a weekly basis...I almost feel like I'm in Samoa again...Man, I miss it...and, man, this blog gave me so much comfort...I knew I could vent about anything that I was experiencing in Samoa on this blog...It was very therapeutic...

Well, I'm gonna try to make this quick...(Are you guys having flashbacks, cause I sure am!)...I have a ton of stuff I should be doing...Essentially, I'm just gonna inform you loyal blog readers of my new life and how I feel about leaving Samoa and returning home...Lets begin...



There's my new school I work at...It's called Veritas High School, and it's in Milwaukee near 27th and Oklahoma...It's a half charter, half public school...It's been around for about 20 years...It's kinda hard to explain...The school is owned by a private, non-profit organization (Seeds of Health), but the students come from MPS and do not have to pay for the schooling...The philosophy of the school is complex but essentially they believe in smaller classrooms, better cooperation between teachers, parents, students, and administrators, and the importance of not only academic learning but also the education in life skills...Got that?...As you can see, the school is pretty small...There's only about 150 students that attend the school...And all of my classes have less than 25 kids in them...In other words, it's really nice and unique...The learning is highly individualized, and none of the students get forgotten about...All the teachers know each and every student and is always checking up on each and every student...This is one thing I love about the school...Inner-city kids NEED this kind of environment...This kind of personal, compassionate atmosphere is almost unheard of in Milwaukee Public Schools...So I feel very blessed to be working in it...I think it's been a great school to transition in...I mean, I am going from teaching on a small island in the South Pacific to teaching in a big city in the states...I could've been very overwhelmed and I may have felt insignifcant at any other school...But here, like Samoa, I feel I am making a difference in my students' lives...I don't feel like a number...Similar to my students at Veritas, I feel valued and valuable...


There's my classroom...I hate the table situation...I'm a desk kinda guy...But whatever...


That's the bulletin board my friend Tiffany created in the hallway outside my classroom...It's all Samoan-like, with "Reading is fun" in Samoan...Obviously, I miss the island just a tad bit...I talk about it to my students all the time...I'm kinda known at the school as "that guy who went to Samoa"...

There's the front office...

That picture above is our cafeteria and where we have our assemiblies and stuff...By the way, Veritas is truth in Latin...

Those were my two Freshmen classes....I'm teaching American Literature to them...I was really scared to teach Freshmen at first, but they've turned out to be a lot of fun...A little rambunctious and talkative, but also very funny and lively...

Those were my two Sophomore classes...I'm teaching them World Literature...Maybe you can notice but about 50% of the students at Veritas are Latino...I almost believe about 60-70% of my students are of hispanic heritage...I have many Mexicans and Puerto Ricans...This is another aspect of the school that I absolutely adore..The diversity is thrilling...Most of my students speak Spanish everywhere except in the classroom...So, like Samoa, I've had to deal with ESL learners...But I love it, and I admire their lanaguage and culture...I'm so excited to learn more about the Latino community and maybe even immerse myself in it somehow...I became obsessed with Samoa when I lived there, and I think that might happen with this hispanic dominant school...Oh, and I kinda like the fact that some of the kids come from broken and/or lower-class families...I can relate to them easily with that one...

Those pictures above were of my new village of Greendale, Wisconsin...No more Fagaima...The reason I moved to this small suburb near Milwaukee is because of its downtown area...It's beautiful...Quaint and quiet and safe...Just what I've always dreamed about...A block away from my apartment is this street with cafes, little stores, parks, churches, nice schools, and restaurants...The old style ice cream shop is especially wonderful...This town is close to the city of Milwaukee yet it almost seems like a whole other world...A world from the 1950's or Leave it to Beaver or something...When I jog at night I swear I'm in Pleasantville...Sometimes it's kinda chilling...I mean, it reminds me of the Stepford Wives or some creepy-perfect thing like that...Sure, it's a bit different than Samoa, but I dig it...And I could even see myself raising a family here...Well, for now, at least...

There's the front of my apartment building...I live in the back...Near the scary woods...

The following are links to some of my final video clips I made in Samoa...Check 'em out...I'll warn you guys though, you may get teary eyed as you watch them...Well, I do...I sometimes get terribly sad when I think of my years on the island...I miss it awfully much...

Gene's Birthday Video/Last Day on the Island:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7SUJ7ziwTs

Fagaima Flood:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTOZWDcW8X0

My Birthday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jf4l9BZN538
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-UIbmHnJww

Those were pictures of my new apartment...Yeah, yeah, I know...It's kinda empty...Hey, cut a guy some slack...I have started from nothing...I had to buy a couch, table, desk, towels, utensils, etc., etc., etc....It's slowly but surely coming together...I learned from the television show Design by the Dime that it's okay to take your time to fill a space...Don't rush it, that's my motto...I wanna design my home with interesting, meticulous things that represent me...Oh, and things that are also cheap...I'm broke as all get-out!...

And there's my brand spankin' new car...It's a 2008 Nissan Versa...It's excellent on gas and pretty roomy with its hatchback...The payments are a hassle and I sometimes miss my days in Samoa of having not to worry about an automobile, but it's still great to have a new car...

Okay, so now I briefly wanna discuss my transition that I've been experiencing...Going from American Samoa back to the states has actually been much, much more difficult than I had anticipated...There are times when I get heartwrenchingly somber when I think back on my experience in Samoa...As I've said several times, I miss it terribly...There are times when I regret leaving...There are times when I feel I'll never be happy here in the states...There are times, like last week, where I cry because I miss it...I feel like I want to go back to the island...Although there may be several reasons for why I want to go back (one is because I may be trying to run away from facing myself and the fear of being alone or whatever...Second because I may just miss the unstressfulness of Samoa...I mean, I had no bills and worries for the most part there), I think the biggest reason why I want to go back to Samoa is because I simply long for the life I had there...I truly miss the daily life of the island...I miss my family I created there...I miss the brotherhood and even fatherhood I had there...I'll never experience anything like that again, and that fact makes me heartbroken...I realize my time on the island was finished and I know I couldn't not leave it, but I still sometimes want that time and experience back...I guess I'm in a grass is always greener mentality, but I also feel like I am blessed beyond reason to have lived in Samoa...But I know that this is my new adventure...Coming back home and starting a life in the states is terrifying in a strange way...Not only do I have to deal with the stress of the states (bills, the fast lifestyle, American teenagers, consumerism, etc.), I also must deal with my self...The greatest adventure I'll experience here in Wisconsin is focusing on my own self and who I want to be and how I want to live my life...It's all kinda new because I've almost always focused on other things like school and Samoa...But now I must make a life here alone, and I am kinda fearful...I know I will visit or maybe even move back to Samoa in the future, but this adventure I'm living right now is one of the most thrillingly scary I've ever experienced...Thank you Samoa for being responsible for both of these adventures...

Before I leave for good, I'd like to say how proud I am of this blog...I still to this day get emails and comments from people all around the world complimenting me on this blog...Many read it to learn about Samoa, and others read it to learn about traveling abroad...Either way, this blog has brought comfort, knowledge, and inspiration to not only me but others, as well...I thank all of you for stickin' with me and reading it...

What do you guys think of my new life?...Do you think I should feel more grateful?...What do you think of my emotions on transitioning from Samoa to Wisconsin?...Are my thoughts justified?...Or am I just complaining?...Should I shut up and be happy here in the states?...Or should I move back to Samoa?...Or should I move to Africa?...Leave me a comment and show me some final love...

Goodbye...I love y'all...

The End...

-JOE

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

-Alan Cohen

Fa!...

Talofa, blog readers!...The day is finally here!...I'll be leaving American Samoa tonight and heading back home to Wisconsin...I have fufilled my contract, and I am now ready to move on to the next stage in my life...Well, that means this entry will be the last for Samoa Joe...Sure, in a few weeks I may post a "Epilogue"...But this is technically the last entry written on the island...I'd like to make this post short...I have a ton of stuff to do...Besides, I don't want my last day in Samoa to be spent on the computer...So, lets begin...

As you can see above, I got a tattoo...Samoan style...Er, sort of...It's a little too big...And it's not quite what I imagined...And, dare I say, I kinda think it's weird lookin'...However, it's growin' on me...One reason why I'm beginning to appreciate it more is that it symbolizes my experience here in American Samoa...Both the beautiful and the ugly...It fits it perfect!...Although, the most significant reason why the tattoo is alright with me is because of the story behind it...I can't wait to tell my children and my grandchildren my bad ass Samoan tattoo tale...

First, lemme explain the tat...It says "Tama Toa"...That's Samoan for Warrior...I wanted something that would remind me of Tafuna High School and my students...I also had him put a secret "F" for FuamUsos...Can you find it?...Yeah, it looks like an "E"...But, hey, it is hidden...Inside an "E" :-)

Here are the reasons why this is a bad ass Samoan tattoo tale...

1. It was done by a kid from the class of 2006!...I think it was one of his first tattoos...He even did the thing for free...I was really, extremely nervous to have this total amatuer ink me...But I found myself that night in a "eh, what the hell"-type mood...Sometimes you gotta go balls out in life and just have no worries...Even if the consequence means forever...I'll have to live with this tattoo for the rest of my life...Well, at least it's on my back...I'll forget it's there most days ;-)

2. This third tattoo of mine actually makes me admire my tree tattoo more than I did before...I look at the tree tattoo now and see a gorgeous piece of art that I still think is a little too big for my tastes...But the two tattoos work wonderfully together...I got the tree tattoo to represent growth, wisdom, and strength...I truly believe that I did not grow in strength and wisdom until I had this experience in Samoa...I mean, in a way, I don't believe I experienced LIFE until these past two years...The emotions I went through here are emotions I've never felt before...And they've made me grow tremendously in strength and wisdom...Therefore, having the tattoo that symbolizes my experience on this island in the soil and roots of the tree is actually a perfect, beautiful metaphor...



3. The last reason why my tattoo story is kinda bad ass is because of those pictures above...Yup, that's the tattoo gun the kid used...It was completely homemade...In fact, it broke several times and we had to go through my sewing kit for new needles...Yeah, no sanitation here...Just random, real sewing needles to create a tattoo!...We also had to search the house for pens to use...Like actual Bic pens!...Will it become infected?...I wouldn't be surprised...But, hell, I feel all fia kama now...I mean, I'm like a Spartan now...Pain is weakness leaving the body, bitches!...And it was the most painful thing I have ever done...By far more excrutiating than my other tattoos...I think the tool used is why it was so painful...I literally thought I was gonna die at some points...I really wanted him to stop in several moments, but I knew I couldn't quit...Warriors neva down!...Hmm, is the tattoo worth this bad ass experience?...I think so...No regrets...

These next few images were taken at the farewell party the faculty had for me...It was nice...The night was filled with gifts and money...They gave me 100$ and a bunch of stuff...They also made me dance the traditional Samoan siva...Which I never took lessons in but witnessed a hundred times...I was embarrassed but I tried my best...Notice me laying on the floor on my belly...Samoan men do this during the siva as the girl pretends she's sorta surfin' on him...The staff got a kick outta me doin' that...ChooHoo!...

There's Tolu...The famous Tafuna High School secretary that I love so dearly...I hope there's arsenic in that laddle...Nah, jokes...

It's the last time we play everybody's favorite gameshow!..."How Many Fafafines!?"...This is the final chance to play this classic American trivia game...Don't make a mistake!...Who's a fafa?...Who isn't?...Look in the pic above and make your guess...

By the way, thanks to all who have donated to Sammy and Gene's Pledge Page...We have already recieved enough money to buy one ticket!...And we are about half of a ticket away to send both boys to the states for college...It's amazing how generous people have been...I am astounded by the love shown to two strangers...And the boys are, too...They tell me they are incredibly thankful for everybody that's given from their hearts...Fa'fetai...We only need a little bit more to meet our goal...So, please, if you can donate, visit their page at http://sendtheboystoschool.pledgepage.org/ ...Once again, thanks to all who have donated...Malo!...

Alright...I gotta go...So, all I wanna say is thank you to all my blog readers who have remained loyal and have stuck with me since the beginning of this American Samoan experience...All good things must come to an end, and this blog has truly been a integral part in my wonderfully inspiring experience moving to this island in the South Pacific...If I didn't have this blog and my blog readers, I really wonder if I would've been able to survive...Thank you...I love you all...American Samoa has taught me so much about myself that it can't be explained in words...I am a changed person...A stronger, wiser man...And I will be forever grateful for all of you who have been there with me through the good and bad times...Thanks for listening to me bitch and moan...Thanks for listening to my stories of joy and love...Thanks for discussing complex cultural issues with me...Thanks for reading about my obsessions with pop culture...Thanks for listening to my blabbing on Sammy and Gene and the Fuamination...Thanks for supporting me, even if I made poor decisions...Thanks for being my friends and family when I didn't have any on this rock...Especially to those random strangers I've never met...My blog readers were my anchor...Keeping me safe and calm on this island of craziness...Fa'fa'tai...

Leave me a comment...What'd you think of my bad ass Samoan tattoo story?...Can you believe it's been two years in American Samoa?...Should I keep a blog when I go home?...What should the blog be called?...Or will it pale in comparison to this Samoa Joe blog?...And how do you feel about this being the final Samoa Joe blog entry?...Let me see your alofas!...

Love ya and miss ya...

-JOE

"Man's feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell."

-Jean Paul Richter

Quick Kind...

Okay, so y'all may or may not have heard that the American Samoa Department of Education has changed my departure date...Yeah, I'm a little frusterated, but I'm trying not to dwell on it...I mean, I mine as well make the most of it...Anyways, they tell me I'll be leaving next Tuesday, the 17th of June...But I'm not holdin' my breath...Something tells me they'll screw something up, and I'll be here longer...They said some paper work took long to process, so they had to delay the departure...So, here I am...Stuck here...Like I said, I'm trying to look on the bright side...I mean, I probably won't see this island for another ten or more years...I suppose a few more days isn't going to kill me...Besides, it's more time to spend with the FuamUsos...It just sucks because I prepared myself emotionally to say goodbye today, and now I'm sayin' "nevermind"...I hate not being in control of my own destiny...Especially when I'm on an island surrounded by ocean and millions of miles away from home...

I really wanted to make this blog entry short...All I wanna inform y'all about is the Pledge Page my sister and Suzy put together...It's essentially asking for donations to raise money for Sammy and Gene's tickets to go off island to the states...I am (still) very worried about both of them finding the money to realize their dreams, which is to go to school in America...

Sammy has two schools lined up (San Francisco City College and The New Mexico Military Institute), but he still needs to make a decision...Much of it rests on what his family can afford...I am concerned with Sammy's family only because they didn't even have enough money to come down and celebrate his graduation with him...Therefore, I'm kinda scared they won't have enough money and Sammy will have to go to the American Samoa Community College...

I am worried about Gene because his mom is a widow who is having difficulty with money...I know for a fact she does not have the cash to send him to California where his college (West Hills) is waiting for him...

You may all be wondering why going to the states is so important to these boys...Well, because America means opportunity, education, and girls...Oops, did I say "girls"?...Nah, really...I truly hope and pray these boys can go to the states...Yes, it means opportunity and better jobs for them in the future...But it also means so much more...They will learn profound things about themselves and the world...Their eyes and minds will be opened to new ways of thinking and living...And they will come back to Samoa with these new ways of thinking and living...Also, if they can conquer America, they can conquer anything...In other words, if they can go to a state-side school and survive and accomplish their goals there, then they will for sure come back to this island and become strong, educated leaders...They NEED to go to the states...It will make them better people...Better workers and leaders...Better husbands and fathers...It sounds like I'm overreacting...But if they stay on this island, I am terrified they will be stuck here...Forever...

This is not a charity case and I am not asking you for money...I'm just askin' you to take these boys I have fallen in love with into consideration...We just wanted to see if we could raise any money for them...And even if it's a little bit, it's better than nothing...Here's the Pledge Page link...Directions are there on how to donate...Thanks...And pass the word around about these two Fuams!...

http://sendtheboystoschool.pledgepage.org/

Alright...I gotta go...I'll still post two more entries after this one...So, stay tuned...

Love ya and miss ya...

-JOE

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."
-Flavia Weeden

Our Final Bittersweet Island Goodbye Top Five...

Malo, putios...Sup?...I'm pretty good...I am hella busy...Graduation and stuff is all over, but now I'm working on packing and cleaning the house and visiting with friends and spending final moments with the fuams...Yeah, it's crazy around here...I'm gonna make this short...



First, I'd like to explain to all y'all my plans for this blog...I am thinking of having one more blog entry on Thursday...It'll mostly be a short one, saying goodbye and giving thanks to my fellow blog readers...And then I'm plannin' to have a epilogue-type entry a week or two from the last entry...(A commenter suggested the idea)...In that entry, I'll describe what it's been like to adjust back to American culture and post any final pics and vids...So, there's about two more blog entries after this one...And then this blog is UMA!...Done...



The pictures in today's exciting blog entry were taken at the Tafuna High School class of 2008's graduation ceremony...The image above is of Gene...Filled to the brim with candy ulas...I'll give you a dissertation on candy ulas in a moment...For now, lets get to our list...By the way, this will be our final Bittersweet Island Goodbye Blog Top Five...It deals with the changes I've been through over the last two years since being in American Samoa...I didn't get much suggestions from my blog readers (one from Shawn), so I'll have to come up with a list of my own...How did I change since being on this island?...How have I grown?...Well, lets find out!...

Top Five Samoa Joe Changes:

5. As a Teacher = I've changed as a teacher in countless ways...I've definetly become more confident and even more professional...I am ready to take on a states-side high school musical and speech festival...I am prepared to organize, direct, and produce school performances that will wow and amaze...And I have also completely changed my philosophy of teaching...Now my goal is to teach using creativity, imagination, and performance to enhance students' cognitive and social growth, amongst other things...

4. As a Uncle = I've changed as an uncle because I've realized that time together and the bonds you create with your nieces and nephews are more important than buying them an ice cream cone or taking them to the movies...I mean, I'll still spoil them sometimes, and I know they remember me because I buy them bubblegum...But as the boys always tell me, "See Neman, you don't get it...We're not here for your money!"...I hope to create that friendship with my nieces and nephews when I get back home...
3. As a Friend = I've changed as a friend because I've learned that true friends accept eachother warts and all...I've learned this mostly from the boys and my experience with Lisa, a friend who has refused to be in contact with me even though we had the powerful, difficult experience of moving to this island together...The FuamUsos, on the other hand, have seen me get angry and cry and I've seen them get pissed and shed tears, too...And yet we stick by eachother's sides...I will be this kind of friend back home to those people who've stuck with me, as well...

2. As a Brother = I've changed as a brother because, well, I've realized the awesomeness that is my sisters...Personally, I think I was always a pretty good brother, who supported both Dana and Shawn...But since I've been away from them for so long, I have discovered what they truly mean to me...Maybe I took them for granted a little bit when I was back home, but I now know that they are my best friends...And they will be for the rest of my life...
1. As a Son = I've changed as a son because I've had to literally take care of and "mother" (or "father") three Samoan kids...I've had to cook and clean and give them rules and advice...I've even had to keep them motivated and inspired...I've also spent many, many nights worrying about them and praying for their success and happiness...I've earned a new respect for my mom...I will never take her cooking for granted...I will always be thankful for her washing the dishes...And I will be forever grateful for when she shows she cares...Because something as little as that means the world to a person who is growing and becoming their own...

Okay, so do you guys wanna hear my dissertation on candy ulas?...It might be my final discsussion of a Samoan cultural practice...

You see, the candy ula is a popular gift to elementary, high school, and college graduates here in American Samoa...Essentially, a person makes a candy ula by buying some candy and then creating a lei or necklace outta it with plastic wrap...They then give the lei to the graduate by placing it around their neck...It's a cheaper and smarter alternative to real leis, which is the authentic custom in the South Pacific...Flower leis can cost about 40$...And they usually die within the week...Candy ulas cost about 2$ depending on what candy you use...In addition, they taste delicious...Anyways, I dig the idea of candy ulas, and I'm even thinking of bringin' the idea to Wisconsin...I especially love the creative leis I saw...I witnessed a kid wearing an ula of McDonalds cheeseburgers and another kid had one lei of cash...They're fun and celebratory...I also like how the Samoan teenagers share and trade with friends...After the graduation ceremony when everybody was gathered around their friends and family, many of the kids took off a few of their own ulas and lei-ed their friends, saying "congratulations" and giving them kisses...It's a happy gift that promotes sharing...And cavities!...The Fuamination fridge is packed tight with sugarific goodies right now...

But there's also something I kinda dislike about candy ulas...These piles upon piles of candy leis actually reflect and symbolize a Samoan cultural phenonmenon which deals with the idea of the bigger the better...In almost all Samoan celebrations, the more you have or recieve, the better person you are...Lemme try to explain...At a Samoan funeral, the number of people that are there to mourn determines what kind of person the deceased was in life...In other words, if a funeral has hundreds of family and friends who have come from all over the world to pay their respects, then the person who has died has not only lived a successful, compassionate, good life, but will also live a good afterlife...Samoans often call these "blessings"...Having a ton of people at your funeral means you have a ton of "blessings"...Which of course means you're on your way to see Christ in the clouds...Samoan weddings are similar...The more gifts you recieve, the more "blessings" you have been given...Heck, even Samoan birthdays are like this...The more food you have (and the tastier it is) determines if you have been blessed and will be blessed in the future...Everything in Samoa has this idealogy...The bigger the better...That's why Samoan funerals and weddings and birthday parties and graduations are exploding with pomp and extravagence...Even though poverty is rife on the island, people spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars to bless these celebrations with lavish gifts, beautiful decorations, gorgeous food, and awe-inspiring fashion...Blessings galore!...It's the same with these damn candy ulas...The more candy leis a Samoan graduate is given the better...The more blessed they are...

On the other hand, maybe I'm only feeling bitter about these ulas because of Sammy's situation...I know, I know...Y'all must think Sammy is this big ol' baby or something, when in fact I'm the one who overly worries about him and his feelings...(He's incredibly strong, morally sohpisticated, and amazingly mature)...But I was so worried about him not getting very many ulas on his graduation day...I was concerned Sammy would feel unloved or un-"blessed"...Since none of his family came down from the states to celebrate this significant day with him, I knew he wouldn't be recieving very many candy leis...(Or "blessings")...I made him eight leis...Yup, EIGHT!...When you usually only make one for each graduate...But not only was I hella proud of him, I also wanted him to feel "blessed" that day...As you can see in the pictures above, Sammy, for the most part, had less ulas than most of his friends...He had a whole bunch less than Gene who has his whole family on island...The thing is, I was so worried about Sammy feeling "blessed" on that day that I forgot to see the strength, resilience, and love that Sammy is already "blessed" with...You see, as I looked at Sammy with tears in my eyes after hugging him and telling him I loved him and congratulating him, I noticed him celebrating with his peers and taking off his ulas and giving them to his friends who had less than him...I forgot how generous Sammy is...And how much he doesn't need candy ulas to know he's strong and successful...Maybe I was wrong about these candy leis all along...Or maybe Sammy was giving them away so that others wouldn't observe his lack of "blessings"...Either way, Sammy made me proud that day...Also, he did recieve alotta candy leis from random chicks...Dass mah boy! ;-)

Alright, and the last thing I wanted to show you guys today is my performance I did for the Seniors...On the last day of school, the Freshman, Sophomore, and Junior classes perform tributes to the graduating class...Since I've been with these Seniors for two years now (I was also their English teacher for their Junior year), I decided to perform a tribute song and dance...I actually did the performance, and I have posted it on YouTube...Here are some things I have to say before you watch the clips...

-I was unbelievably nervous...You can tell by the way I'm moving (my hands are actually shaking) and the way I'm singing...There were hundreds of students and teachers watching me...I've never done a performance of this magnitude...A solo performance, nonetheless...(...By the way, I did the song and dance after I struggled during an introductory speech...I was so emotional and I couldn't stop crying...I told the Seniors they've pretty much been with me everday for two years...And I consider them my family...From what I hear, I wasn't the only one cryin'...Students, teachers, and administrators were all cryin' rivers of tears...)...

-I didn't practice with the keyboardist until the morning of the assembly...And we only practiced with music two times!...You can notice me constantly looking over at him to see if I'm on time and key...

-Oh, and I was so nervous I didn't wanna get rid of my lyrics...So, I read off my sheet...Ghetto?...Yes...Needed to calm my nerves?...Yes...

-I added the now legendary "Grand Finale" just for my Samoan students...Watch the second part of the performance and you'll see the dazzling, glittery "Grand Finale"...The kids loved it...Humiliating?...Yes...Legendary?...Totally...

-If you're a loyal blog reader, you MUST watch these clips...Samoa Joe is officially the most famous, beloved palagi English teacher in American Samoa of all time...It may sound conceded, but the kids are tellin' me it's true...They were so thankful for my tribute...Well, I did it for them...I am so proud of them...And I love them tremendously...Sole, I love them so much I was willing to make a complete ass outta myself just for them :-)

Neman's Senior Tribute Part One:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evd0aF4Hgas

Neman's Senior Tribute Part Two:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etJYDN3Z6PI

Okay...Samoa Joe's blog is almost done...Leave me a comment before it's too late...Do you agree with the changes I've gone through since having this experience?...Are my thoughts on candy ulas valid?...Are candy leis harmful?...Do they feed the "more is better" Samoan way?...Or they loving, blessed gifts?...Should I worry about Sammy and his feelings so much?...Or should I trust in him more?...Oh, and what'd you think of my Senior Tribute?...Is it excellent?...Embarassing?...Horrid?...All of the above?...Do you agree with the fact that I'm now a celebrity on this island?..."The craziest palagi EVER!"...

Love ya and miss ya...

-JOE

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

-Theodor Seuss Geisel

The Bittersweet Island Goodbye Blog Top Five: Part Four

Good afternoon, loyal blog readers...I'm ready to write another entry...One of the last ones...So, lets enjoy these final few blog entries...Although, on the inside, I'm gettin' kinda sick of writin' 'em ;-)

I just have a few things to write about (it's actually been a very interesting few days) and then we have our farewell list...Lets begin...

The pictures today are from the baccalaureate...It's a traditional graduation ceremony that Samoans participate in...Even though I've heard of a baccalaureate, we don't really do this in the states...Especially in the public schools...Essentially, it's when all the high school graduates gather for a communal Sunday Mass...Since all Samoans are basically Christians, there are no problems with this practice on island...In the states, I don't think this could ever happen...However, how cool would it be if high schoolers and their families in the states were open-minded enough to go to a different church mass every year?...I mean, maybe one year they go to a Universalist church and the next year they go to a Jewish synagogue...And a Baptist the next and a Buddhist temple the next year after that...Hmm, in a perfect world, huh?...Well, the kids looked beautiful on this day...And their singing in the church and the pastor's sermon about the difference between knowledge and wisdom was heavenly...

I've been hella excited to come home...But there's been two things that have come up in the last week, as I'm hectically runnin' around packing and cleaning and gettin' stuff ready for graduation, that have made me almost change my mind about leaving so early...I depart in six days...Maybe I should stay a lil' longer?...

Two Reasons Why It Has Crossed My Mind to Stay A Little Longer in Samoa:

1. The other day Sammy and I were eatin' breakfast together and he said something that made my heart sink...He asked, "Who picked that day for you to leave?...Why is it so early?...Can you change the date?"...I was devastated when he asked these questions...We continued talking and I eventually concluded that he wants me to stay until he leaves for off-island...I've been so thrilled to leave this island so I can get back home to my friends and family that I haven't completely thought about how my leaving will change the boys' lives...Especially Sammy's...Y'all know that Sammy's entire family, besides his lil' bro, have been in California for two years...Since Sammy has lived with me for a year now, it’s going to be a significant adjustment for him once I leave next Thursday…He’s gonna have to do everything for himself again…I think he’s terrified of this change…And I’m scared, too…I know Sammy (I won’t go into details here) but he needs someone there to motivate him and keep him organized…I just really hope his family gets him that ticket to go off-island and go to college…But without a visa or a sponsor (he’s not a U.S. citizen), it’s going to be very difficult…I wish I could stay and help him with it…To be honest, I think all of us have some fear…Me, Gene, Sammy, and Tim are all a tad frightened of what our lives will be like without eachother…Which makes me want to stay here for longer…But all good things must come to an end…And Sammy, and the boys, understand my happiness is at stake…I NEED to come home…So, this Thursday I will definetly be boarding that plane…

2. Or maybe I will stay a little longer on this rock…I mean, I finally met a guy here!…Yup, it’s that time for Samoa Joe to talk about his inappropriate, R-rated love life…In brief, I’ve gotten some action with this one guy twice this week…His name is Billi (pronounced bee-lee) and he’s probably the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever been with…His body is wonderful and his Samoan eyes are dreamy, and he’s very straight acting…I woulda neva known he was into me, but my friend Jon hooked us up…What’s so amazing is that he actually says he’s gay…And he says he wants to be gay forever…A Samoan guy who wants to be gay?...He’s not in the closet?!...Or married?!...And he isn’t into fafafines!?...Woah!...It’s a miracle!…Praise Jesus!…I could actually have a hot boyfriend here…Should I stay in American Samoa?...Are my friends and family back home more important than a chance at love?...Or is Billi totally worth staying for?...Well, for now, Billi is just gonna have to wait…Sorry Billi…Although you’re hotter than a Chick-O-Stick, I really wanna go home…But, sole, it was good while it lasted...

Top Five Samoa Joe Pros of American Samoa:

5. The Small Town-esque Vibe = There is no way that I’ll ever feel legendary in Wisconsin…Here, everyone knows my name…I’ve been in the newspaper about 6-8 times…In two years!...The quaint, safe feel of this island is addictive…And so is the fame…Whether it was directing the first high school musical or getting my blood pressure at a local medical center, everything seems big and significant in a tiny, rural area…

4. The Boys = While I am delighted to finally focus on myself when I get home (because I think I’ve put the boys and my students before me for way too long), I will still miss them terribly…They’ve been fun and inspirational…And they’ve given me a family I will never experience again…Plus, what palagi can say they created a Samoan family in Samoa?...Not very many…It’s been an extraordinary experience…

3. The Scenery = The beautiful beaches and lovely mountains have dazzled me for two years now…And I am still astounded by the island’s majesty and magnificence…I will never forget looking out my front windows and gazing at the ancient, mighty green mountains…Heck, I’ll even miss the chickens and roosters outside my window!...I lived on a tropical island paradise…Lucky me!...

2. The Laziness = Yeah, this one was on my list of the cons of American Samoa…So why is it a pro, as well?...Because sometimes life should be about relaxing and enjoying life to the fullest…Working is not life, and Samoans live this theory…Family and nature and enjoying life is fundamental…The hectic life of the states is creeping up on me…My life will be busy and fast soon…And I’m dreading it…No more lazy, sunny afternoons…No more sleepy, calm nights…Highways and elevators and deadlines here I come…
1. The Love for Performance = The singing and dancing on this South Pacific island has been profound to me…The culture of performance has been powerful because it not only entertained and amazed me, but also taught me how to become a better teacher…You see, I plan to bring the Samoans’ adoration for art, performance, and creativity into my classroom…The imagination and using the body to express creative thought will be included in all of my teaching activities…Even the lesson plans on grammar…My philosophy of teaching has become stronger since being on this island…Plus, who doesn’t love a great song and dance?...I’ll never forget the songs and dances my students have blessed me with…

Okay, I think we will have one more Bittersweet Island Goodbye Blog Top Five…I was thinkin’ the final list could be the ways in which I’ve grown since moving to American Samoa…If some of you have been reading since the beginning, have you noticed any changes in me?...How have I become a better person since coming to Samoa?...How has my personality or beliefs changed?...Have I become more confident in anything?...What have I learned about myself?...Take a look back at those first few entries...What's different about me?...Leave me a comment on how this experience on this island has effected me…Give me some ideas for our Top Five Samoa Joe Changes…How has Samoa Joe changed?...

Oh, and can someone translate what my student Alex wrote to me on MySpace…Man, the kids these days…They have a language of their own!...(I do know that “Uce” is derived from Uso, Samoan for brother)…I did not teach him to write like this...

“AYE NEMAN.HOWz iT UCE.DANG MAN U GOTz 6 MORE DAYz OF MEMORiEz ON THA ROKK UCE.DANG NEMAN HOPE TAH SEE YOU AGEN in A FOURYEAR.GET?NEWAYz CHEA MAN DiS BE THA FiRST TiME i THiNK iM POSTiN UP ON YAH PAYGE.BUT CHEA UCE NUTTiN BUT LOVE FOR YOU MAN. Uz BEEN NUTTiN BUT A CLOSE FRiEND,A BROTHER, ND ALSO A DAD.WEN THA BOiZ BE ROKKiN YOH HOUZ NEMAN.BUT CHEA LiKE AGEN UCE.i GOTz NUTTiN BUT LOVE FOR YOU UCE. SO MAY THA GOOD LORD BELSS U WiD A GOOD TRiP WEN U BE OUT OF THA ROKK ND HOPEFULLY BRiNG U BAKK SAFELY TO THA ROKK ONCE AGEN.BUT CHEA NEMAN MUCH LUV.GONE~>”

I gotta go…Leave me a comment…There’s only a couple of blog entries left…So show me some love before it’s too late…Should I stay longer in American Samoa for Sammy and the boys?...Should I stay longer for Billi?...What changes have you seen in me over the past two years?...How has this island transformed me?...And what the heck did Alex say to me?...

Love ya and miss ya…

-JOE

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie